Good night moon..good night stars...

I am a firm believer of faith and it's strong walls that keep us safe during life's turbulent tides that seem to sometimes wash over us until we are gasping for air. The currents of change have, in my lifetime, made me feel like I was choking on air, struggling to fight for my one chance to live and yet only laid out to dry. Tonight as I sat my tattered leather couch swaddled in blankets with the sweet smell of my blue eyed boyfriend's cologne, I couldn't help but smile at where I am now and the unbelievable ways in which God has blessed me.

I am thankful for the horrible days that make those sunrises and sunsets that much more breathtaking...thankful for the way the grass is wet with dew on the first cold morning in Arizona....thankful for the smell of desert rain and the lightning that shatters across the sky...thankful for the uncontrollable laughter and invincibility children show to those of us who have forgotten how to smile or take the plunge...I am thankful for pink nail polish and red sunglasses like the ones I use to wear as a child, the heart shaped ones...thankful for life, love, and free will...

So breathe...dream your dreams and let life happen, but don't forget to open your eyes for long enough to see the brilliance of fate unfolding before you...

Revenge of a neglected cat

Came home to find the cat pissed off at me for being late. It's a shame when your pet can look deep into your eyes and it makes you want to cry because you know they are disappointed in you. It's even worse when you try and lie to them; making excuses to a cat does not work. They are far wiser than their opposite, the dog. They are clever little beings and can see through your deception. This is just a warning to those of you who have thought you could pull a quick one on these furry creatures, by telling them you just went out for one drink, or that you had so much work to catch up on. No, it's not ok to them. After all, their entire existence relies heavily on your well-being and being in their presence.

Even more depressing is that I came home to toilet paper by my cat's litter box. I am a horrible mother. He's toilet training himself. Most parents wipe their kid's @$$ until they can do it their self. No, not me...the poor guy had to use his paws-no opposable thumbs to get that taken care of. Mind you there was no evidence on the piece of toilet paper of wiping being done. So now I am concerned there may be a nice snail track of poo in my bed. Could he really be that upset with me?!

Back to me...

I treated myself to In-and-out, plum wine, and Sex and the City (the movie of course...) tonight...I've never had so much fun being a lonely girl for a night. Pants unbottoned, shirt untucked, hair matted to my melted make-up face and not a single soul in sight to say a word.

I've been lost in a whirl of 9-6 dress codes and mailbox clutter, verbal vomit on paper about the inability of mankind to cope with life, and love- oh love, the only thing that seems to get me through this messy world. Well, God and I have a pretty good thing going too.

Tonight...it's back to me....

I must admit, I have a guilty pleasure for the soft light of a dancing flame visible from the inside of a hot shower. Have you ever just stood there and let the water run on your face, feeling each drop as it falls, breathing in the steam? Yep, a shower in the dark...my retreat, treat, and then slip away from this world. Because tonight...it's back to me.